Losing my sister was the most shocking and traumatic phase of our lives. I don’t know if our lives will ever be normal in future. We may look normal, we fight to get ourselves to be consoled and get better but a deep hole in the form a gap in our lives that can never be filled again continues to pinch our hearts forever.
The beautiful face of her always will be a print in our memories and her wishes and dreams that were abruptly ended will become the dreams of us from now on and a big responsibility to take care.
I pray for my family to get strength to get over the grief and do something in memory of her as it is the only option we have at present.
I have decided to write everything about my sister in my blog whenever I feel like and tell her success in life and the ill fate, God’s will to take her away from us forever.
I never expected I would get a day to write about my sister-that her life ends abruptly. Without enjoying the success that she had achieved. Without fulfilling the dreams she had dreamt. I don’t know how to take the game of fate – she didn’t have a slightest clue that something that big is going to happen to her. Of course for us too. She shred her last breath so easily in a blink of time Without any suffering. Everything was happened so quickly.
We both had a liberty to study professional education that many of girls couldn’t get in those days. That was only possible because of my father’s employment and his strong aspiration to see his daughters independent. My mother’s ambitious and hardworking attitude added to our success that we both could turn out as gazette officers, which again was not possible for many girls. She always was a hardworking and bright student and upto intermediate she had been the topper. She wanted to be a doctor but she couldn’t get it. For the rank she got in MSET I.e. 13000, she only got Veterinary seat. Though We didn’t have any deficiency to live a comfortable life, it was a bit high to afford a payment seat of medicine for us in those days. So she had to join in Veterinary without much interest. Her dissatisfaction had gotten deep rooted in her mind that she couldn’t focus on Veterinary. She didn’t appear/pass for final examination as she kept on reading for MSET again. For her displeasure she got the same rank and same category. Though she had determination, she lacked maturity to get over it and took it hard to heart to continue in Veterinary.
From the childhood she had the liking towards new cloths, jewelleries, new things etc. I could say that she never became an adult and enough matured as per leading life. On the best side she had been successful in achieving what was necessary for leading a comfortable life, luxurious I can say. On the other hand she failed and continuously pressurised for racing with the more achievements, for living up to the expectations of others which was impossible for anyone.
I am not saying, she had died because of the above reasons. Her death was completely accidental, sudden and God’s play. I am only saying that she had been also like many girls who come from middle class families, who gives more importance to “What we are in the eyes of society rather than what is requires for a peaceful life” compelled to live and lead life in a particular way. she always fought for a little bit of praising, appreciation, encouragement from her own family which was very rare and ultimately she failed to get it, she failed to impress parents. In spite of her hard work and success which was expected by my parents, she had craved for a friendly dab on her shoulder as “You did it. We are happy for you.” We three were fought for it and even now fighting for it but the rest of us, my brother and I could overcome it and could change ourselves as per the changing timings. But she couldn’t.
Yes, my parents are the reason that we achieved something in life. At the same time they were the reason we had to face mental stress throughout our lives. it goes without saying that twenty years before the parents had this mindset that, if they would praise their kids, they would be out of track. Yes, it might be true to some extent, up to certain age. But it would be very wrong to maintain that notion forever, even after achieving what you expected out of your kids. Parents should know the line beyond which they should give some time to their children for experiencing their success and relaxing a bit. they should be recharged to mould their success in to a study life. You can’t be appreciated however successful you are, but the neighbouring boy or girl will be highlighted for a meagre success is not a fair play but rather a self destruction if I say.
Though she never had anything deprived as per the things needed to lead a high-five life, she always was compared with others and she failed to come out of that emotional drama. she knew how to dream, how to learn, study, compete, how to dress up, how to talk gently. But she never knew how to take it easy and how to enjoy her beautifully settled life. God had blessed her greatly ever in her marriage by giving great understanding, loving husband. But cursed with the other hand to drag her from him.